these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
