I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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