whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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