please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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