It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
