that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
