You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
