He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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