I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
