Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
