it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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