Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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