This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
