Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
