I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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