can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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