Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
