Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
