Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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