Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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