idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
