you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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