your room smells of hookers.
And success
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
