my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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