So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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