I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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