And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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