Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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