she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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