I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
