he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
