I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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