What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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