no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
