okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
