so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
