would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
