well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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