Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
