you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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