Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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