no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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