good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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