My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
