Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
