Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just had sex bonerless
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
