tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
