Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
