I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
