I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize