Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
