i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
