My hair reeks of homosexuality.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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