Say something about gay babies.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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