hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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