If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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