That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
