i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
