Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
