I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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